John Erikson's Research Project

Guilder John Erikson shares this amusing sentiment:

      A friend sent me a clipping from one of those catalogs that get distributed in a hopeful way to the unnecessarily wealthy.  It depicts a diminutive chicken coup on an immaculate lawn, complete with a green gable roof, white cedar trim, the classic ramp with wooden cross-steps, and a sun-deck displaying ornamental potted plants.  The write-up emphasizes the double-digit square-footage provided for the fortunate guests, who are free to range into whichever corner is closest.  Though solitary confinement seems the intention, three chickens (smelling of hair-spray) are featured in the photo.  They have evidently just been introduced for the occasion of the shoot, having not yet attempted to peck each other to death in their cell.  

The concept here is clearly flawed - unless the goal is to sell backyard knickknacks to the over-privileged - in which case, we witness genius at work.  ($1299.00.  $65 delivery.  Chickens not included.  Some assembly required.  Results may vary.  May cause dizziness.  Void where prohibited.*)  The obvious omission here is a means of egress, so that after a long day of accentuating the picturesque barnyard-like ambiance, the little darlings can retreat indoors to watch TV, safe from the big bad wolf.  The key piece of missing technology is some kind of clever door hardware that chickens can learn to operate.  I've secured a research grant to look into this.

P.S.  I can always tell if Philip and his friends are still at after-school debate practice by whether or not the front door is standing open.  Its nice to know at a glance what sort of scene awaits me inside, but I find no encouragement there for my new research project.

*Note: when a doctor uses the term "void," chances are it's not checks being discussed - it's your bowels.  This seems like bad advice, then.